everything's so messed up
i am so afraid
afraid that i'll fall.
it's at that part where everything seems so wrong
and nothing ever feels right
the things which feels right causes more mistakes to happen
and it's horrible.
im afraid i'll fall
fall and hurt.
it's clear now that things aren't the way it seemed to be before
things are a little different now but in a big way
it's hard to pretend that everything's all right
that i'm not hurt,that i'm not feeling anything.
i can't pretend. please..
try to understand..
im falling apart.

the past couple of weeks have been a bumpy ride
at times,
it felt so lonely, so forgotten..unimportant.
sometimes,
it felt great..
but this holiday has been different from all my other holidays
because i feel that i've been through a couple of things this time
and it's hard to stay strong all the time
it just gets to you so easily
that fat big tears will just roll down your cheeks any time
no matter how hard you try to push aside that voice in your head,
you just can't. and it's hard. really hard.
i just hope..hope that everything will be okay soon.